Uninvited Guest
by ARaZhi
Summary: At the dead of night, Kurama received an unexpected visitor. Will this uninvited guest behave himself? Or will Kurama woe the day he allowed Hiei near his TV, computer, and prized manga collection?
1. Couch Potato

**Uninvited Guest**  
**_Couch Potato  
_**by _**ARaZhi**_

A cold blast of wind entered Kurama's bedroom. With a curse that could make Youko Kurama proud, "Shuuichi" turned to the only youkai who would have the nerve to enter his room through the window at such an unholy hour.

The said youkai could have been Hiei, fire demon, over protective brother, Hn-speaking hier of Mukuro. But this Hiei doesn't have the usually spiky dark hair because it was matted down his head, frozen. He shivered uncontrollably then sneezed.

Kurama jumped up the bed, grabbed Hiei, dumped him on the bathtub, and turned on the hot water. "What happened?"

"Yu--ki-- achoo! --na!"

"Yukina?"

"Baked ca---cake ACHHOO! col-- brr ---cold."

"She baked a cold cake?"

"Ha-- achii!"

Poor Hiei. Yukina meant well, of course. But everytime she reads "chill" on the recipies, she "chills" it not by putting it in the freezer but by freezing it with her ki. Thus, faster and very much colder. About a hundred below zero. And yes, the kitchen ended up frozen several times before. The Kuwabara's and anyone who passed by the house had to wear winter clothes even though it's the middle of the summer for five days while waiting for the snow to melt.

The hot, steaming water, have successfully unfrozen Hiei and his frozen hair. Kurama can only stare in shock. He'd never thought that Hiei's hair is nearly as long as his when down! What a great way to fake one's height, ne?

Hiei noticed his open mouthed stare at his not-spiky-at-the-moment hair and glared at him. "Say one word to anyone and I'll---"

"You'll what?" he asked biting back a smirk.

"I'll make you eat Yukina's cake!"

"Your secret's safe with me, Hiei." Kurama smiled but inwardly he sighed. What a bad time to run out of film! Oh, well, he can always try to looking for his digital camera. If only he can remember where he placed it...

----

"Medicine's on the kitchen table. Don't drink too much of it or you might throw up. Start thinking that you're getting better, it'll help..."

Kurama continued rattling off "things that can help you recover faster". He must have learned it from that ningen mother of his. Why would he wanna get better soon? Staying at Kurama's place is just fine. Free food. Free place to sleep, even though it's just a couch, which happpens to be better than that hard rock Mukuro calls a bed. One would've thought Mukuro's heir would have one of the best rooms. Wrong! The best thing about Kurama's place is the TV. Yup, TV! And for the next week he plans to be what ningens call as "couch potato" or "bum".

Kurama stopped talking, probably figured he's not really listening. "Neither of us wants to treat you like a kid, Hiei. But everytime you're sick, you behave like one."

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do---" Kurama sighed. "Fine. I'll be at the office. And for the nth time... Do. Not. Drink. All. The. Cough. Syrup. In. One. Gulp."

He smirked, "I'll take little sips this time."

Kurama rolled his eyes, "I'll see you, later." With that he left.

Smilling happily. He grabbed a chair and stood up on it to look for the popcorn. He's a youkai with a mission: watch TV with popcorn. Perfect!

There!

He grabbed the bag and jumped off the chair. He doesn't know how to make the things but he figured it'll be easy...

----

About two hours later and after nearly burning down Kurama's kitchen due to... One, he couldn't figure out how to make the popcorn. Don't ningens have a thing labeled "popcorn maker"? Mukuro have one. And two, he thought the popping things were some sort of attack from invisble youkai.

He sat comfortably in the couch and grabbed the remote. He stared at it for a few moments. Darn! Kurama changed his TV and didn't inform him!

Hn!

So he "accidentally" burned Kurama's TV before. He didn't totally burn it. Besides, it seems fixable. It's not his fault really. If the creator of DBZ didn't kill off Vegeta-sama during his fight with Freeza then he wouldn't have been frustrated and upset. He wouldn't have "accidentally" burned down the TV.

Because of that he never found out what happened to Vegeta. Sometimes Kurama can be so cruel. Didn't even record the episodes for him so he can watch it after his training. Wouldn't even let him near the TV till now.

He glared daggers at the new flat TV and began randomly punching buttons at the remote.

He growled at the remote menacingly. Finally, the dark screen came to life.

Flame of Recca!

Grinning, he sat back on his seat and watched while automatically eating popcorn.

"Domon, you blind idiot! Can't you see she doesn't love you?" he shook his head as Domon drool over Fuuko.

He'd grown to like this show, even though at first it seems like all the characters are mirrors of the Reikai Tantei and the other youkais they've met. The creator proabably watched their fights. His favorites are Kurei and Tokiya. He'd grown to like Raiha but only after reading the FoR manga, one of Kurama's endless collection of mangas. He gotta remember to raid Kurama's collection later. Recca is like Yusuke, except that Yanagi is somewhat a whiner while Keiko is a slapper. Domon is like that oaf Kuwabara, except that no one can top the said oaf's idiocy.

Flame of Recca was soon followed by...

"Tamahome..."

"Miaka..."

"Tamahome..."

"Miaka..."

He started at the ningens wondering if there is some kind of secret meaning behind the words...

"Tamahome..."

"Miaka..."

Grumbling something that sounded like "ningen no baka", he pushed another random button. Suddenly, the TV began switching from one channel to another after a 10-second interval.

Something caught his eye. "STOP!" he commanded the TV set. Of course it didn't stop it's automatic channel surfing. Three eyes glared with death at the TV set while his right hand furiously punch buttons at the remote.

"SHIMATTA! I hate Kurama's TV!" he glared hatefully at the TV set as the screen turned black. "Hn!"

Several minutes and a lot of curses later, Hiei finally got the TV under control. He should have told Kurama not to get another TV set. The new things ningens think up of these days are complicating his life instead of making it easier.

He started eating his nearly forgotten popcorn while manually channel surfing.

Finally finding the show that caught his eye, he frowned and looked at the characters critically. They look the very familiar. He could have sworn the guy in the ningen pants and shirt is Vegeta. But, what in Meikai is Vegeta doing in ningen clothes?

"Vegeta!" a blue-haired girl who look suspiciously like Bulma called. When the guy in the Hawaiian shirt turned towards Bulma with the patented sullen look, Hiei's mouth dropped.

"Bloody hell! They domesticated Vegeta-sama!"

He just stopped watching the show for a month and already they turned Vegeta into a Saiyan-in-a-Hawaiian-shirt guy?

He sat in silence, watching carefully and looking for signs that Vegeta-sama have not been domesticated and there's a bloody logical reason why he's not in his spandex. He actually liked that spandex. He wondered briefly what he'd look like in one of the things. Nah. Mukuro might disinherit him if showed up in one of the things.

_To be continued...  
How will Hiei react when he learns of what the future holds for Vegeta-sama?   
What will happen when Hiei raids Kurama's manga collection but ends up surfing the 'Net instead?  
Next part coming hopefully soon... _


	2. The Secret Dream

**Uninvited Guest**  
**_The Secret Dream  
_**by _**ARaZhi**_

The popcorn is long gone. Now, chibi Gohan is running on the screen with the dragon while the closing credits rolled.

The DBZ marathon has ended. A very annoying ending! How do muggles---erm ningens call it? A cliff...cliff --- cliffender? Or was it cliffhanger? But wasn't hanger for clothes? Nevermind.

What's important is he has to find a way to get Kurama to allow him to stay longer. He must know who that purplehaired guy was. He doesn't look like a saiyan. Saiyans have black hair. Like him, Hiei. In fact, he even looks a lot like Vegeta.

Hiei allowed his imagination to wander. Wouldn't it be cool if Vegeta's really his father? That means he's a saiyan and he can fly! Not only that, but Vegeta can scare off the idiot Kuwabara away from his daughter Yukina.

Hiei let out an annoyed "Hn!". He raced up Kurama's room and began to search for Kurama's precious mangas.

With his Jagan glowing, he looked around the room.

There! Behind that cabinet!

He opened the door and felt his lip twitch.

A safe!

A damned metal safe!

Three eyes glared hatefully at the safe. Sheesh! Kurama's certainly protecting his precious stash. Not that Hiei could blame the youko...

Last time he was here, he read the Flame of Recca manga. Incensed that Kurei lost to his idiotic brother Recca, he burned the manga. Kurama took that rather well. He just burned down the TV, burning the manga is quite small compared to that.

Then, Kurama calmly told him that he spent weeks trying to find that volume because it was sold out.

Once Hiei was sure Kurama isn't likely to cut him into tiny Hiei pieces, he bravely asked the youko if he could borrow a couple of Hunter x Hunter mangas. Selfish kitsune refused! Kurama said since his injuries are healed (owing to the fact that he's already capable of burning up things), he should get his ass back to Makai or else he'll tell Mukuro about the burnt TV and he'll have to get a paycut.

So, he set off back to Makai, manga-less. He couldn't afford a paycut! He was saving up for a new black cloak. A youkai of his stature can't have just nine black cloaks. Have to make it an even 10. And the 10th better be made of black leather.

In fact, he wants hundreds of cloaks in different colors, except for orange. Orange reminds him of the Idiot's hair. He's no longer a wanderer now. He has his own room with a huge wardrobe which is currently almost empty.

Or maybe he should buy a bed first. Something big and fluffy. But how can he smuggle a bed into Mukuro's territory without her noticing? She seems to think making him sleep on a stone slab is good for his training.

He also wanted a trench coat, like the one Aya of Weiss Kreuz wears. But with his current height, he couldn't pull it off. A few more years and he'll be as tall as Kurama and he will buy all the coats and cloaks that he like.

Being Mukuro's heir have a lot of advantages. There's power. And money. And power. And money...

Now, he stared at the safe's lock, a complicated kind of lock. He knows the numbers but he still couldn't open it. He'd never like ningen security, especially the metallic types that can ruin his katana. He can't even blast the door off the safe because Makai fire will undoubtedly turn the safe into a oven and destroy everything inside. That will thoroughly piss off Kurama. And one of the few things Hiei fears is Kurama's anger.

Hiei crossed his arms and grumped. Ningens. This was the reason why he allowed Kurama to join him and Gouki. Kurama's the expert on Ningen security.

Sighing in annoyance, his gaze fell on the computer.

"Hn," he switched it on the way he'd seen Kurama do it.

A few more clicks and Hiei was online, although he doesn't know it. By now the screen was full of open windows, one of which is a network game.

"Aha! Video game! I can do this! If that kid Amanuma can do it, I the living replica of the prince of Saiyans can!" Besides he'd watched Kurama play this game often.

Suddenly small windows--instant messages--began to appear on the screen. And words---greetings---started to scroll on the bottom window of the video game.

"Hello, Minamino-kun!"

"Shuuichi, the love of my life, I've been waiting for you for hours!"

Hiei rolled his eyes. Ningen no baka.

"Minamino-san, please help me with my office project! Please, I beg you. You're the only one who could help me keep my job. Please, I'll do anything. You're my only hope..."

The ten or so instant messages were all like that: professions of love and begs for help. Hiei quickly closed the IM program. How does Kurama stand all that crap?

But the messages from the other players of the network game is more interesting. And a particular nickname had caught his eye... Can the idiot actually operate a computer!

**Yukina'sLove:** Oy! Kurama! Say something!

**Yukina'sLove:** Oy! Kurama! Say something!

**Yukina'sLove: **Oy! Kurama! Say something!

**Yukina'sLove:** Oy! Kurama! Say something!

**Yukina'sLove: **Oy! Kurama! Say something!

**Abyssinian:** Hn.

Hiei frowned thoughtfully. Kurama's nickname is Abyssinian? Ah! He's that red haired assassin from Weiss Kreuz! Aya! In a whim, Hiei snatched his katana from Kurama's desk and slashed it visciously in the air.

"Takatori, SHI-NE!"

The perfect imitation!

If Mukuro fires him he'll get a job as an anime actor! Grinning at the thought of working alongside Vegeta-sama and frying the ass off idiots like Domon (who always reminds him of Kuwabara), Hiei resumed his seat in front of the computer.

**Yukina'sLove:** Oy! Kurama! Say something!

**TheRockRulez:** that doesnt sound like kurama

**Abyssinian:** Who are you? What kind of stupid name is that? I'm not Kurama!

**TheRockRulez:** you dont know who The Rock is? hes a very famous wrestler!

**Abyssinian:** Ningen! Hn!

**Yukina'sLove:** It's the shrimp!

Abyssinian kicks Yukina'sLove.

**Abyssinian: **And you're the IDIOT!

**TheRockRulez:** where's kurama? is he there with you?

Kurapika enters.

Abyssinian changes nick to Killua.

**Kurapika:** Ohayo, minna! I didn't miss anything, did I?

**Yukina'sLove:** Oy, Kurama!

**TheRockRulez:** oist! sneaking off to play again, ne, kurama?

**Kurapika: **Couldn't help myself. Who's using my other nick?

Killua changes nick to SaiyanPrince.

**Kurapika:** Oh. No. HIEI! What are you doing in MY computer? You didn't burn down the TV again did you?

**TheRockRulez:** you do look like vegeta, hiei

**SaiyanPrince:** Hn. Yusuke?

**TheRockRulez:** hai

**Yukina'sLove:** You burned down Kurama's TV? How stupid is that?

**SaiyanPrince:** Compared to you? Not at all.

SaiyanPrince kicks Yukina'sLove.

**SaiyanPrince:** FYI, I did not burn down your TV. But if you mention it again, I might!

**Kurapika:** You're incorrigible!

**Yukina'sLove: **Stop kicking me!

**SaiyanPrince:** I will if you stop being an idiot.

**TheRockRulez:** whats incorrigible?

**Yukina'sLove:** Urameshi no baka! Incorrigible is...

theMaster enters.

**Yukina'sLove:** ...not corrigible!

**TheRockRulez:** BAKA!

**theMaster:** What is the meaning of this? Arguing, again, children?

**Kurapika: **Amanuma stopped by. He says 'hi'. Glad you can join us, Genkai-sama.

KawaiiChibi enters.

**TheRockRulez:**

**Yukina'sLove: **

**KawaiiChibi:** You're just jealous of my nick. p

**theMaster:** Koenma, where are others?

KawaiiChibi changes nick to tuxedomask.

**tuxedomask:** They'll be here in a bit. They're having some problems tapping into the ningen network. Wakamaru refused to help them.

Dexter enters.

**Kurapika:** Kaito! Looks like I'm not the only one who skipped work. LOL.

**Dexter:** I was told Genkai-sama will be here. I wanted to see if she's as good as Kido claims.

**theMaster:** Of course I am. Haven't been beaten yet.

**SaiyanPrince:** Hn.

**TheRockRulez:** amazing. even when typing all he says is 'hn'.

SaiyanPrince kicks TheRockRulez.

**Kurapika:** Stop kicking people, Hiei.

**SaiyanPrince:** Hn. p

**Kurapika:**

**tuxedomask:** they're online!

sAkE enters.

EnsuiMaster enters.

windsurfer enters.

**windsurfer:** Hello, minna!

**TheRockRulez:** JIN!

**Kurapika:** Hi!

**sAkE: **mwahahahahaha!

**EnsuiMaster:** Hey! Rinku says, 'hi'. Suzuki says, 'hello'. Wakamaru says--- er.. I'd rather not repeat what Wakamaru says. LOL!

**windsurfer:** (#()&!

**EnsuiMaster:** Sorry about that. Wakamaru isn't being helpful at all. Trying to grab Jin's keyboard. Oy, Chuu! Go help Suzuki restain Shiwa!

**sAkE: **:burp:

**windsurfer:** you don't have to type that. we heard you loud and clear ;

**sAkE: **but those in ningenkai didn't...

--------

Later on, after a rather violent network game full of cursing, shouts, and more cursing where Hiei nearly released the Kokuryuha against the Idiot's game persona, Hiei forced himself to relax and surf the 'Net. Never again will he play against those fools. Even that fool Kuwabara beat him. "He didn't beat me," he grumbled to himself, reassuringly, "he cheated. Yes, that's right, he probably coerced some idiot to cheat for him." How else can he be beaten so early in the game? Even that brat Amanuma can beat him. Hn!

Now... Hiei drummed his fingers on the desktop thinking. What to search for? He has to focus on important stuff. Kurama might arrive any moment and kick him off the computer. The only reason he couldn't do so now is because he has some boring meeting to attend to.

Then he remembered, Muruko have been reading something about "nuggles". Or was it "mugsels?" Uh..."muggles"? And something about a "potter". Maybe Mukuro is starting to develop a love for plants. She likes flowers. Maybe muggles are a type of plant?

Hiei Googled it and let a curse at the numerous results. After several clicks, Hiei was smirking.

It has nothing to do with plants at all. It was that strange looking ningen boy with glasses. The idiots in Makai have been selling copies of these books in the black market, along with blackmarket copies of mangas. He never bought from the blackmarket, though. The prices there are ridiculously high. Why buy when he can borrow from Kurama?

Hiei found a site with a copies of the fourth book Mukuro was simply dying to read along with copies of the new ones. "Now I have now something she doesn't know... perhaps I can trade this for a month in her bed... she can have that stone slab she made me sleep on. Hn!" Maybe if he can disguise the fanfics as books, Mukuro is technologically-challenged, she won't know the difference since she can't go online. 'I just have to stay far away when she finds out her favorite character died.' He reminded himself. Mukuro takes these books too seriously which is detrimental to her heir's health, as he's the one who had to listen to her rant or worse.

Minutes later, Hiei was positively grinning. He has to figure out a way to stay longer. There's so much information! The 'Net was even better than TV or mangas because there are video clips and copies of the mangas in it!

Hiei devoured online mangas -- Weiss Kreuz, Flame of Recca, Rurouni Kenshin, Hunter x Hunter. Good thing he can read nearly as fast as he can run. He read transcripts of Gundam Wing, Dragon Ball, and Escaflowne. He danced as one mp3 after another played on the speakers (yes, he's multitasking, dancing and reading at the same time). He watched OAVs and videos of the opening and closing songs of his favorite anime next to DBZ, Hunter x Hunter. The characters in HxH reminds him of himself and his teammates except they were luckier because none of them are as ugly as the Idiot Kuwabara.

Then he found it. DBZ heaven! Full episode videos!

There it was! The next episode --- the one with the purple haired time traveler!

Hiei quickly clicked on the link and could barely stay on his seat due to excitement. "Come on! Download faster! FASTER! Damn. I better talk Kurama into getting one of those DSL connections!" The DSL adverts have been popping up his screen all day.

After what seemed like forever it was finally complete!

Grinning, he clicked on the play button. His nose was almost pressed on the monitor as he watched with bated breath.

On the screen, Trunks was making Goku promise not to tell the others about him. Trunks explained where he came from and about his world -- the future where in the Z warriors are no more. Goku then asked Trunks if he's related to anyone he knows...

Hiei took a deep breath. The suspense is torturing him.

Trunks finally answered.

Vegeta.

And Bulma.

Goku looked like he was going to faint from shock.

But Hiei was too frozen to notice Goku's reaction. Hiei's red eyes blinked then glazed. His third eye saw Vegeta and Bulma standing on the altar getting married. Slowly Vegeta and Bulma morphed into Hiei and Botan.

Hiei screamed.

--------

'What in Makai is that?' Kurama ran up the stairs and threw open the door to his room.

Hiei was seated in front of the computer. Deadly pale and screaming like a banshee.

Kurama looked around, trying to find an intruder. He sniffed the air, in an attempt to find poisonous gas. But found nothing amiss. Hiei was still screaming his head off, a blood curling type of scream.

Kurama quickly seized his best friend by the shoulders and gave him a hard shake, "Snap out of it!"

Hiei screamed at Kurama's face.

'Dear, Kami! What possessed him?'

With a flick of his wrist, Kurama sent a sleep inducing plant racing towards Hiei. It struck the terrified youkai on the arm and he fell silent, asleep at once.

--------

Kurama coudn't figure out what made Hiei behave that way. But by midnight, when Hiei woke him with another round of terrified screaming, Kurama found out.

"It was just a dream, Hiei! Calm down!"

Hiei looked at him with his huge red eyes. He looked so young. "It was?" he asked in a soft, young boy's voice, so different from his usual deep voice. Hiei's eyes were bright. Kami, Hiei isn't about to cry, is he?

"Yes," Kurama said firmly. He couldn't help himself and added, "Of course it was, Hiei-chan." Kurama bit back a grin. If Hiei is back to his normal self, he'd be threathening Kurama with fire for calling him Hiei-chan. But Hiei showed no reaction to the abhorred nickname.

"Mukuro was after me. She rose from her grave to haunt me forever because her grandheir's mother is an airhead with blue hair."

"Airhead with blue hair?"

"Hai," Hiei said, "Mukuro told me I should at least choose an airhead with brains like Bulma. But no. I had to choose an airhead with a brainful of bubbles..."

Kurama sweatdropped. Will he dare ask who? His curiousity got the better of him, "Who?"

"Botan," Hiei whispered in terror.

Kurama laughed. This is a real laughing fit coming now and Hiei's expression is simply classic. Damn it! Why didn't he look for his camera last night?

"I'm serious, Kurama! How can you laugh at me at a time like this? And you're supposed to be my friend! Whatever happened to all that friendship and loyalty crap you kept on telling me? Don't you even care that Mukuro will skin me alive if she even thought this is possible!"

Kurama tried hard to gather his composure. And, damn, it was hard. So hard. Gasping for breath, Kurama said, "Don't worry Hiei. It won't happen. Botan's too terrified of you. She won't even come near you unless you're asleep."

A bad thing to say. Hiei can be so green minded sometimes. Kurama's lip twitched and he might have broken two of his ribs from trying to control another round of laughter.

"I don't mean she'll mate with you while you sleep!" Think serious thoughs... Count to ten... Gods, I want to laugh... "Get a grip on yourself" I'm not going to laugh... But Hiei looks so funny... I'm being a bad friend... I'm not going to laugh... "It won't happen and I know she has her eyes on becoming the Queen of Reikai."

"She does?" Hiei's face lit up.

"Hai."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"She has never been interested in me?"

Kurama crossed his fingers. "Never."

Hiei's Jagan glowed, trying to detect a lie. But Hiei's Jagan always fails when it tries to detect Kurama's lying.

"Good! Go back to sleep and not a word about this to Yusuke or the Idiot or else..."

"Or else what?"

Hiei grinned, his eyes as mischievous as Youko Kurama's, "I'll tell everyone... including your ningen mother that..." whips out a hentai magazine from behind him. "...you sleep with this beneath your pillow!"

"I do not! And that's not mine! It's Yusuke's! He asked me to keep it safe for him because Keiko wanted to throw them out! He must have placed it beneath my pillow when he was here!"

"Do."

"Do not."

"Do."

"Do not!"

"DOOO!"

And just to have the last word, Hiei promptly slumped back on his bed, asleep.

"Do not."

"Do," Hiei whispered before he began to snore.

--------

In Reikai, Botan flipped open her scrapbook to look at her latest crush. The latest before her new latest crush.

Along with the oh so familiar blurry picture is a note:

Kurama,  
Send the messenger back with one hundred blue roses, fifty purple roses, and seventy yellow roses. Are there black roses? Maybe you can send twenty of those as well. And don't forget the 33 red roses. Make sure none of them have thorns! She can be so irritable when she sees her own blood. Can you make them last forever? Mukuro's mood gets awful when they start to wilt. And she blame me for not watering the damned things! Do I look like her bloody gardener!  
--Hiei

Beneath the note Kurama had scrawled: Do I look like a bloody florist?

The note was crumpled. Botan was lucky she found it near Kurama's trash can. She was sure he noticed when she grabbed it and hid it in her pocket. But he didn't say anything about it. Kurama behaved the same way when she filched a picture of Hiei which Kurama took while Hiei was running away trying to avoid the "despicable ningen flashy thing".

Smiling to herself, Botan placed the new front page of her scapbook and snapped the clasp shut. The page is covered with pictures of Koenma taken by George and Ayame via hidden camera. The pacifier of teenaged Koenma was digitally edited by Ayame. The pictures were selling like Makai tournament tickets! And she blew off more than half her salary for them. But they were worth it.

Smiling and humming to herself, Botan hid the album beneath her bed. Tonight she won't be dreaming of ruling a third of Makai. Tonight, she'll be dreaming of becoming Reikai's queen...

--o-- owari --o--

Author's Note: Finally, chapter 2 is here I've written this ages ago (sometime after HP & the Goblet of Fire was released). Hiei is a little OOC (ok, so maybe more than just a little ;), but I had fun writing As for chapter 3... I really don't know. Depends if my readers want another one Liked it? Hated it? Review, please ;


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